Crowley: A day in Hell
by Sergeant Cody
Summary: Exactly what the title says. Crowley's typical day. Additional warning: frequent usage of sarcasm.


…

 ** _Notes: The italics means Crowley's thoughts._**

…

6:05 – Growley and Juliet break into the bedroom, happy about a new day.

6:06 – The barking is starting to be quite annoying. At least the hellhounds seem to be disciplined enough not to jump into the bed.

6:07 – "Okay, Okay! I'm getting up, are you happy now?"

6:10 – New task: Find a demon minion who would go for a walk with them.

6:12 – Task accomplished. Now let's bet on how long he survives with those crazy puppies.

6:14 – Go to bed again and try to sleep.

7:50 – Knocking on the door. "Your Majesty, the meeting is in ten minutes."  
 _Meeting? What meeting?_

7:52 – Getting up the second time, this time with no chance of going back to bed.

7:54-8:12 – Choosing the suit. So, what do we have here: black suit, another black suit, another black suit, another black suit and finally: black suit.  
Mental note: _Pay a visit to the tailor to have a new black suit made._

8:15 – Joining the meeting. Some demons bowed, but most (those who thought they were important) just ignored the king as he walked through the hall and sat on the throne.

8:20 – _Still having no idea what they are talking about._

8:22 – _Why are the meetings always so early? Who organizes them anyway? Wait, I am the king, shouldn't I be organizing them?_

8:23 – _Why do I even have a council?_

8:24 – _Ah, of course – the council is taking care of the boring stuff. Let's just nod sometimes, sign few papers and hope it will be over soon._

8:46 – Playing games on the cell phone.

9:25 – The meeting's over.  
 _Hurray! Wait, someone is talking to me…_

9:26 – Apparently the meeting was cancelled earlier because Rowena was making mess somewhere in the hell.  
 _It's not supposed to be "hell" for me! I am the bloody king!_

9:28 – Organizing a search party.

9:32 – Running desperately through the hell's halls and trying to find the witch before she manages to destroy something. Well, too late for that, but there is still a chance to stop her before something _bad_ happens.

9:35 – Something bad happens.

9:38 – Finding Rowena with a pile of books about magic.

9:40 – Saving some poor demons who were used as guinea pigs.

9:44-10:05 – Having a very detailed conversation about things that are forbidden to do in Hell. Joining "experimenting on demons" to the list.

10:06 – Drinking a shot of Glencraig.

Finally, it's time for some fun:

10:10 – Finding some desperate people, who would sell their soul for money, fame, success… you name it.

10:32 – Tick tock, goes the clock, for the first soul to go to Hell. _I don't care it doesn't rhyme, the soul is forever mine!_

10:50 – _Is there some huge economics crisis or something? These people are crazy! Well, why would I complain, right?_

10:55 – Going back to Hell for hellhounds to collect an "expired" soul with their help.  
 _At least they will burn off some energy._

11:10 – Enjoying the show with a glass of favourite whiskey. The desperate attempt to escape the bloodthirsty hounds makes it quite dramatic.

11:45 – Ignoring Winchesters, who are calling. They are always problems.

11:57 – Lunch.

12:25 – Still having lunch. It's really delicious, you know?

12:45 – Fulfilling the duty as king: sitting on the throne and accepting demons with their complaints.

12:57 – Nodding to a request.  
 _Wait, what did she want? Well, whatever, someone's keeping a record of it, I can read it later._

13:10 – A demon, who complains about Winchesters.  
 _Again? Couldn't they get used to it already?_

13:12 – _They did what?_

13:14 – Teleporting to those problematic idiots.  
 _Stop killing my demons! They weren't even after you!_

13:15 – "But… blah blah blah… demons… blah blah blah… killing… blah blah blah… Crowley, are you even listening? blah blah blah…"

13:20 – Returning to the Hell, suddenly feeling very tired.

13:35 – Listening to more demons.

13:46 – Pretending to listen.

13:58 – Playing games on the phone.

14:08 –Someone said something interesting. Listening again.

14:25 – Playing games on the phone again.

14:50 – Checking on Rowena. She hasn't done anything for a very long time which is highly suspicious.

14:56 – Confiscating vial of demon's blood, wings of a fairy, roots of thistle and shards of coloured glass.

15:10 – Finding someone to torture.

16:24 – Noticing the blood on the suit.

16:25 – Thinking about a new suit.

16:28 – Having a drink.

16:30 – Going to the tailor.

16:32-16:58 – Complaining to the tailor about how the hounds and torture constantly destroys his suits.

17:25 – Getting a massage.

18:45 – Organizing a meeting to talk about stuff that was told during the morning to summarize it and informing the council about development of changes in Hell.  
For instance the meetings will be held after lunch because it's impossible to keep attention in the morning.

19:50 – Watching HBO.

21:00 – Finding a demon who would go for a walk with hellhounds again.

21:03 – Silently laughing at the demon being bitten for waking them up.

21:06 – Finding a new demon who would go for a walk with them.

21:15-21:45 – Having a nice long shower. Singing.

21:50 – Watching HBO and hoping no one would need anything.

22:24 – Someone needs something. Redirecting them to the Council.

23:45 – Going to sleep.

…

 ** _Notes: I just wanted to ask, if the –ing form is fine. Can I use it like this?_**

 ** _I was inspired by a story written by millennium-writer about Palpatine's day, which was really cool and funny. (You can find it among my Favourite stories, if you're interested.)_**


End file.
